Sex, Bipolarity, Transmutation, and Beelzebub

In my previous two posts I have written about the sexual substance, my bipolarity, and Beelzebub’s Tales. In this post I elaborate on how I have used the material in the book in order to face my bipolarity and face the transmutation of the sexual substance, and how all this leads to the coating of the body Kesdjan. But first we need some theoretical background on how the sexual substance interferes with the work of the three lower centers or brains in man.

Man is a three-brained being. This statement is repeated in Beelzebub’s Tales hundreds of times. These three brains or centers are called in the book: the moving brain, the feeling brain, and the thinking brain. Each center or brain has a center of gravity in the organism. The center of gravity of the moving brain is the spine; the center of gravity of the feeling brain is the so-called solar plexus; the center of gravity of the thinking center is the head. The sexual center may be taken to be part of the moving center but it has been said that this center is independent of other centers and that it is faster and more pervasive than any of the other three centers or brains. One of the most abnormal behaviors in relation to the sexual function and always according to Mr. Gurdjieff, is what he called abuse or misuse of sex by our brains or centers. Here is something on that.

Each center possesses its own source of energy, generated by its own unique substances and can sufficiently guarantee normal brain functioning, including its participation in the process of exchange of substances, without the need of any additional energy supply.  Therefore, only under very precise conditions, based on a deep understanding of man’s inner structural/functional organization can successful functioning of the brains be intensified through use of additional energy such as that generated by the sexual substance.  Even in such case, the intensification would have to be harmoniously and proportionally distributed among the centers or brains.  However, whenever highly vibratory energy is used inappropriately, the result is always an abnormal intensification of functioning.  The obvious features of such abnormal intensification, (or sexual abuse), are the sterile vehemence and futility of purpose observed in whichever brains’ functioning or operation.

A normal functioning of the thinking-brain provides performance of the associative process of idea organization needed for generation of other ideas, as well as its participation in the more advanced forms of mental activity such as pondering and being-mentation.  However, when the thinking-brain uses sexual energy to accomplish its own functioning, the result is always an abnormal intensification of the associative process.  This abnormal intensification, then, results in the subjectivization and the crystallization of fixed ideas.  In this way, the thinking-center engages itself in the formulation of any variety of subjective theories which lack correspondence to the reality dictated by everyday common sense; in endless discussions of theories of others; and/or in the merciless elaboration of any idea or theory. The unfortunate end result is that thinking-center functioning becomes useless for man’s successful utilization of it and its potential contribution to the process of life shared in common and its normal exchange of substances or common-cosmic process Iraniranumange, as it is called in the book.

The normal function of the feeling brain is that of channeling and distributing the ensemble of feelings and emotions needed to maintain the life of the individual, the normal process of life shared in common among men, and the normal exchange of cosmic substances in which the feeling-brain participates.  However, when the feeling-center uses sexual energy to accomplish its own functioning, the result is always an abnormal intensification, characterized by a subjectivization and a crystallization of certain, very definite emotions.  The feeling-center identifies itself in the variety of emotions whose common denominator is their degrees of violence as well as their highly charged negativity.  This identification, then, manifests itself as fanaticism, of religious, ideological or doctrinaire character (the burning of witches, the final solution, the sacred war, and so on). Yet, another form of manifestation of such identification can be seen in the diversity of emotional dependencies associated with sexual activity (sadism, masochism, fetishism, jealousy, etc.).

Normal functioning of the moving-brain coordinates and regulates the voluntary and automatic movements required by the individual for physical actuation in the process of common shared existence, as well as the normal exchange of substances in which the moving-brain participates.  However, when the moving-center uses sexual energy to accomplish or enhance its own functioning, the result is always an abnormal intensification, characterized by exaggeration.  For example, the moving-center engages itself in a variety of sports as part of its normal activity and development; however, when its functioning is intensified by sexual abuse, it is compelled to break all established records (the ballerina strives to perform the impossible pass).  The end result is that the moving-brain becomes useless to the normal life of the individual as well as the necessary exchange of substances.

Based on this understanding of how sex affects the normal functioning of other brains, I was able to relate my bipolarity (including psychosis) to the abuse or misuse of the sexual substance.   I have been able to verify and clearly see what follows:

Depression is an intensification of the moving brain by misuse of the sexual substance in the form of negative emotions. In order to understand this we have to understand that emotions are a form of misplaced and distorted sensation, a sensation that its origin in the moving brain, very specifically in the center of gravity of this brain, namely, the spine. The movement of the misused sexual substance through the spine causes sensations which are transformed into negative emotions. This movements paralyzes the functioning of the moving center. Negative emotions then manifest in the form of irritability, self-pity, false self-love, sadness, loneliness, procrastination, hopelessness, impotency, inordinate movements, nervousness, and others the seeker must experience by himself.

Manic states are intensification of the thinking brain by misuse of the sexual substance. During the manic phase the thinking brain becomes overactive and man thinks highly of himself, the opposite of what happens during the phase of depression. Man no longer feels he is impotent, he is now in command but this command is only of the mind and does not involve the totality of oneself. It is then not true command but a dream of commanding. If during depression man feels his impotency, during the manic phase man thinks he can do all and everything. He is the master of the universe but in reality he is nothing more than a dream-master, thinking he can master anything but in reality being unable to do anything. In the manic phase man cannot do and everything happens to him.

Psychosis is an intensification of the feeling brain by misuse of the sexual substance mainly in the form of hallucinations. During a psychosis man feels that all and everything has a reality that is displaced from everyday reality. Feeling of negativity or feelings of aggrandizement are typical of a psychosis. Man may feel that he has committed the “unforgiveable sin” or that he is nothing more than Jesus Christ Himself. Man is not dreaming like during the manic phase but he is hallucinating. Man feels that he is condemned for ever or that he is here to save the world. Both forms of hallucination are characteristics of a psychosis but man cannot see that he is simply hallucinating.  These hallucinations manifest in the form of very definitive feelings with the main characteristics of an over activity of the feeling center caused by the misuse of the sexual substance.

What is man, now the seeker, to do in all these cases? The only thing to do is to transmute the sexual substance. But how is this done? At this point the seeker can rely on the advice given in the chapter Holy Purgatory of Beelzebub’s Tales. Here is the appropriate quote from that chapter:

“So, my boy, this totality of cosmic substances named ‘exioëhary,’ resulting from the evolution of the first being-food in these beings apparatuses, corresponds in its vibrations to the last stopinder of the being- Heptaparaparshinokh and, according to the particularity of this stopinder, it enters the ‘higher intentionally actualizing mdnel-in’ of the law of Heptaparaparshinokh. And in order to complete its transformation into new higher substances and acquire vibrations corresponding to the next higher degree of vivifyingness, that is, corresponding to the fifth stopinder of the fundamental process of the sacred Heptaparaparshinokh, it indispensably  requires just that outside help which can be obtained in the presence of three-brained beings only through those factors mentioned by me more than once, and which are manifested in ‘being-Partkdolgduty’, in other words, those factors which our COMMON FATHER CREATOR ENDLESSNESS consented to designate as the means by which certain tetartocosmoses—as a final result of their service to the purposes of the common-cosmic Iraniranumange— could become helpers in the administration of the enlarging world. And as for these factors, which are the sole possible means for the assimilation of the cosmic substances required for the coating and perfecting of the higher being-bodies, today we call them ‘conscious labor’ and ‘intentional suffering. “

It should be noted that the name ‘exioëhary,’ is identify in the book as the sperm in beings of the male sex:

“Here it might be worthwhile to note and even to emphasize that of all the definite cosmic substances that are formed and are always to be found in the common presence of your favorites, they know well only this ‘being-exioëhary,’ which they call ‘sperm,’ and even masterfully perform with it various kinds of their ‘manipulations.’

“And by this name ‘sperm’ they give importance to the totality of definite substances formed only in the presence of beings of the male sex, scorning and leaving nameless a similar totality of the ‘end results’ of the substances arising in beings of the female sex.”

What if the sexual substance or being-exioëhary is not transmuted through the proper means of being-Partkdolgduty? Well, Beelzebub’s Tales also addresses this matter as follows:

“Well then, ever since your favorites ceased to actualize being-Partkdolgduty in their presence, this totality of substances, which inevitably arises in the presence of all beings as the final result of the transformation of their first being-food, no longer receiving, in accordance with the sacred  Heptaparaparshinokh, the outside help required for completing its evolution into other higher definite active elements, began to involve back toward those crystallizations from which its evolution began From then on, such involutionary processes in the common presence of your favorites became factors engendering in them data for the arising of their innumerable ‘illnesses,’ thus, on the one hand, breaking down their previously established essence-individuality and, on the other hand, shortening the general duration of their existence.”

It is obvious from everything said above that transmutation of substances known as being-exioëhary involves the practice of ‘being-Partkdolgduty’ or “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering.” But what are “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering” all about? Well, they are not well defined in the book, except to say that the best form of intentional suffering is to bear the unpleasant manifestations of others. Therefore, the seeker will have to figure out what “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering” means to him/her. I have come to some results on this matter and can only give you concrete examples on how I have used ‘being-Partkdolgduty’ in the transmutation of my sexual substance and the eradication of my bipolarity and psychosis.

The first thing I realized was that I had to find a way of tranquilizing this movement of the sexual substance up and down the spine which caused my depression. For that I did the usual tranquilizing exercises like the so-called morning sitting but more than that came an intensive awareness in the sense that I had to tranquilize my spine everywhere I was and not matter what I was doing. Breathing into the spine also helped and a verbal formula passed to me by a Catholic friend was of great help: “Blood of Jesus, help me and clean me,” which I did while visualizing the blood of Jesus moving up and down my spine. In any case, work on oneself ought to be carried in the midst of life because we do not live in a monastery (satseng is good for monasteries). This became for me an almost obsession. The end result of this transmutation of the sexual substance was an eradication of the negative emotions which caused my depression. The whole process, I must repeat, involved the use of “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering” as I understood them according to my own individuality.

For my manic phase, I worked intensively in transmuting the vehemence of my thinking brain using for this end the concentration and focusing of my thinking function. Instead of using medication, which as I was able to constate, was a form of self-calming, I worked consciously on a different use of the thinking function. Thinking became more solid and more involved in the normal use of the thinking function for everyday activities. As It was the case with the moving brain functioning, I employed my being-understanding of “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering.”

For the psychosis, I understood that I had to proceed in the direction of bringing more sense and understanding to the functioning of my feeling center. In this sense, I practiced a kind of exercise that had to do with bringing light to the heart, site of the normal functioning of the feeling brain. Feeling became like a tranquil sea and I was able to constate its participation in my own Law of Three in the form of a neutralizing force. In the same way that sex is the neutralizing force in the functioning of the moving brain, that is to say, the neutralizing force between the moving and instinctive functions, the feeling brain is the neutralizing force between the moving brain (holy denying) and the thinking brain (holy-affirming).

Besides the use of “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering” I made use of two very important aspects of the living teaching Mr. Gurdjieff brought to humanity, namely, consciousness and conscience. Through consciousness I became more aware of the functions of my three brains under intensification caused by misuse of the sexual substance. Conscience, on the other hand, served me as the guide or master of my inner work.

How could I be sure that a sexual transmutation was taking place in me? There is only one way to know it and it is by the results obtained. I became aware as my work progressed that there had been in me a distinguishable increase in my animal magnetism or as it is called in Beelzebub’s Tales sacred being-Hanbledzoin. Having this substance in one’s organism is very important because on one hand it is the substance connecting the thinking and feeling centers and, on the other hand, this substance is the blood of the body Kesdjan or Astral Body.  With the coating of the body Kesdjan comes an increase in consciousness and a physical joy that is solid and natural. We can know the presence of the body Kesdjan only by its manifestations. Coating of the body Kesdjan is an important endeavor.

The end result of my work has been that my bipolarity together with my psychosis have ended and I am again living a normal life from the point of the functioning of my three brains. I have experienced an increase harmony among them with the result of an increase in Being.

Regards,

Will Mesa

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About willmesa

I have been studying and working with the ideas of G.I. Gurdjieff exposed in his Opus Magnum Beelzebub’s Tales to His Grandson. The intention of this blog is to share these ideas with people around the world. For more information about me, please search in Google for Will Mesa
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26 Responses to Sex, Bipolarity, Transmutation, and Beelzebub

  1. Patrick says:

    Dear Will, thanks once again for the clarity and precision of your words, it seemed as I read your words that you were telling my story, and not just my story, but the story of many men that live and have lived on earth. I’m 60yrs. old and have been married for 33yrs. My wife and I enjoy an active sex life, and yet I’ve always felt in the dark about what this energy is, how it works, and what it can do or not do for us three brained beings? For instance, do these substances travel up and down our spine at different speeds and at different times subjecting us to all sorts of strange obsessions, false-imaginings, and disproportionate desires? Does this energy feed our addictions with food, alcohol, television, and A influences in general? Is our sex-center responsible for our levels of inertia? I’ve only just begun reading BTTHG, and marvel at the healing that has arisen in you because of the understanding you’ve received from your efforts with this book. Patrick

    • willmesa says:

      Dera Patrick, the answer to all your questions is affirmative. Yes, this sexual substance or sexual energy is nothing more than Kundalina as Mr. Gurdjieff said in Russia. It moves up and down the spine at different speeds and different tempos. It is the power of imagination in us and keeps us prisoner of all kinds of relationships within ourselves and with the external world and Madison Avenue knows this very well and use it everyday in our exchange with the TV tube. You are lucky you are having a healthy sexual relation with your wife because that is the first step. Then you must pay very close attention to how your three centers use this enormous energy for all its inner workings. It is not a matter so much of manipulating this energy but of becoming full aware of its existence and its operation. Then you will see what you have to do. Wishing you good luck and thanking you for taking your time to comment on my post. Will.

      • Gregory says:

        This is excellent, Will.
        You said:
        “The sexual center may be taken to be part of the moving center but it has been said that this center is independent of other centers and that it is faster and more pervasive than any of the other three centers or brains.”
        Can we say that the complete manifestation of sex center is an even, unimpeded spreading or wash of vitality throughout the organism?
        Gregory

  2. willmesa says:

    Yes, Gregory, the sexual energy pervades the entire organism and sex is so important that Mr. G said that if we are doing five things, two of them have to do with sex. Even in his 90s Picasso was still drawing pornography paintings and even at 74 I am still occupy with sex. The sexual energy is the greatest gift given to us by our Common Mother Great Nature. The thing for us to do is to be aware of its existence and participation in the life of our lower centers. Use it either for procreation and for creation of higher being-bodies. Thanks for your comment. Will.

    • Gregory says:

      Thank you, Will.
      “The sexual energy is the greatest gift given to us by our Common Mother Great Nature.”
      True enough. And at 58 with a complete (and shocking) upgrading transformation of my abilities in dancing fueled by what appears to be an overall “atomizing” sex energy “spray” which started around age 54, shows no sign of letting up. Science is all upside down on this. Full maturing of sex center and its manifestation seems to be arriving now in my life. My technique is explicitly taught from the vantage point of three-brains-balanced being. What began (ca. 1973) with a focus on hara (below-navel) motive center has slowly moved up the entire thorax as it reached towards and included the heart. I could not feel more fortunate to have been a part of all this. And its intersection as a leaping off point towards an evolving understanding of BTTHG is undeniable.
      The pejorative, and therefore controlling, designations of the “dirty old man” and the “dirty old lady” that our culture seems hidebound on, reveals psychological immaturity and fear at its deepest root (double-entendre implied)
      Gregory

      • Gregory says:

        And Picasso, yes, for his illustration of the full range of sex energizing. Not only in his pornographic display of his particular understanding of WOMAN — which must be incredibly close to Gurdjieff’s — but in his indications of what higher being bodies might perceive rendered in the symbolic language which has been awkwardly and inaccurately designated . Even dry old admitted that there was “something” to be gotten from those paintings “if looked at in the right way” For further exploration in that realm, since documenting psychology and investigating eroticism became Picasso’s main preoccupation, one would have to turn towards his early studio-mate Georges Braque and then the transcendental elaborations of that still-undervalued Mondrian.
        One thing that never failed Picasso was his phallos, displayed in his sexually energized painter’s hand —- it remains throughout, “rock solid’ (yes, double-entendre, again, implied)

  3. Gregory says:

    Read:
    “which has been awkwardly and inaccurately designated CUBISM”

    • Gregory says:

      Read:
      “Even dry, old “4D Ouspensky” admitted . . .”
      Sorry, I am still learning the process of punctuation on this site. My emphatic, idiosyncratic style doe not take. If not O. returning the “favor” from the other side, perhaps this is an illustration of an abuse of sex center on my part.
      My apologies.
      Cheers!
      Gregory, the insignificant

  4. Mike (The mammal.) says:

    Thanks Gregory,
    In my understanding so far, sex can manifest itself through the intellect as well without recourse even to another mammal. In this case, i can remember reading that the formations of trees in the ‘grain’ of the wood can even provide an association that will satisfy this sexual center that is very broad. Or a hole in a fence.
    It is a generous gift indeed that has so many facets, intellectual, emotional, physical, or composites.
    In my opinion there is an optimum for mammals.
    Parkdolg duty appears to be the vehicle/machine/order that obtains the best relationship with the whole.

    • Mike (The mammal.) says:

      Reproduction and creativity are very close in my mind.
      I would need to define parkdolg duty and clearly i might find myself like a puppy in deep water just at the minute. Thanks.
      Mike

      • Mike (The mammal.) says:

        You can add defining “optimum” and “clearly” to that list of things i need to define so i guess i am left with that the manifestations of the sexual center are diverse in the broadest sense, and it might even be possible to constate that sex exists or is a part of life at a viral or bacterial level of life. I think Tielhard De Chardin said something about this also. Not sure and would need to verify my sources as it was long ago when i looked at his writings.

      • Mike (The mammal.) says:

        Broadly speaking, they are, instinctive, emotional, intellectual, moving, higher intellectual, higher emotional, sexual. It is difficult to go far on any one of these alone.

      • willmesa says:

        I would list them in this ascending order and following the names given in Beelzebub:
        Instinctive
        Moving
        Feeling
        Thinking
        Sexual
        Higher feeling
        Higher thinking

        A total of seven centers of consciousness corresponding more or less to the seven chakras. The awakening of the sexual center will allow us direct contact with the outer world. It allows for the connection between the lower and the higher centers.

  5. Gregory says:

    “I would list them in this ascending order”
    But “ascending” disappears when sex center awakens and unifies the centres, rendering the organism into one operative WHOLE PIECE MOVING more or less non-neurotically OUT INTO THE WORLD?
    What you seem to convey in recounting in your healing process, Will, is a dissolving of knots or clearing debris from the stream of your full potential of vitality (“Daily bread”)
    Gregory

    • willmesa says:

      I really meant ascending order and listed them accordingly. Yes, when sex center awakens the organism becomes one operative WHOLE PIECE LIKE YOU SAY. And there is a non-neurotically movement OUT INTO THE WORLD. You put it very well.
      Yes, I cleaned debris accumulated and in each and everyone of my lower centers and my vision of the world has become clearer.

    • Mike (The mammal.) says:

      Perhaps it is in this order. I am still pondering this on the basis that to satisfy ‘life’, the ability to replicate is first or ‘Do’.
      Higher Mental Center
      Higher Emotional Center
      Intellectual Center
      Emotional Center
      Moving Center
      Instinctive Center
      Sex Center
      Michele.

  6. Murad Perez says:

    Ahora leo estos conceptos y experiencias como un regalo…Gracias a uds. por compartir.Me gusta la idea que el despertar del cento sexual me conecta con el mundo exterior.Con respecto a los deberes y sufrimiento voluntario me queda el vacio si deben tener un origen de orden superior o solo estar habierto a las experiencias que me brinda un mundo ordinario…Gracias Will por aclararme.

  7. Will, yo estoy un poco confundida en relación con lo que nos toca a las mujeres, porque nosotras no tenemos esperma, entiendo que tenemos también este reto, me veo en muchas cosas que escribiste, pero la pregunta que surge, es cómo esto está en los seres femeninos. Cito aquí de nuevo:

    “It should be noted that the name ‘exioëhary,’ is identify in the book as the sperm in beings of the male sex:

    “Here it might be worthwhile to note and even to emphasize that of all the definite cosmic substances that are formed and are always to be found in the common presence of your favorites, they know well only this ‘being-exioëhary,’ which they call ‘sperm,’ and even masterfully perform with it various kinds of their ‘manipulations.’

    “And by this name ‘sperm’ they give importance to the totality of definite substances formed only in the presence of beings of the male sex, scorning and leaving nameless a similar totality of the ‘end results’ of the substances arising in beings of the female sex.” ”

    Gracias.
    Sara.

    • willmesa says:

      Hola Sara,

      Yo creo que es igual para la mujer que para el hombre y a este respecto Belcebú dice que si hay en la mujer una clase de esperma pero no la menciona con nombre. Así que yo creo que en la mujer también hay abuso del sexo. Pero no se como llevar a cabo el trabajo porque soy hombre.

      Yo creo que para la mujer es un verdadero reto como tu bien dices. Lo que tu tienes es que observar si hay abuso de la energía sexual en tus centros de tal forma que hay depresión, estados maniacos, y hasta sicosis. Por ahí es que debes continuar con tu trabajo.

      Saludos

      Will

      • Gregory says:

        Dear Sara

        My apologies to you for not being able to answer you in Spanish. I translated your communication and Will’s response via “Google translate” and felt satisfied to have caught the gist of what you were asking.

        My day job is concerned with an aspect of continuing education for medical professionals. Nineteenth-century western medical jargon — probably in imitation of classical ancient Greek philosophers — used the term “sperm’ or “spermatozoon” to identify sexual substance of both genders. This is much the same as the term hysteria(‘womb-madness’) is still used to describe a condition experienced by both genders. I feel that G. is admonishing that lack of distinction, while affirming the end result sameness, when he says:

        “And by this name ‘sperm’ they give importance to the totality of definite substances formed only in the presence of beings of the male sex, scorning and leaving nameless a similar totality of the ‘end results’ of the substances arising in beings of the female sex.” ”

        This one-sided, medical formality continued into the early 20th century when it probably began to be brought into question by educated women entering the field, women’s suffrage and related movements.

        Being an unapologetic gnostic-patriarch in his linguistics, G. tells his followers, according to Nicoll, that the male members must help women to become “more like they are in the world” so that they have an equal chance to develop.

        For further illumination and pondering, I would side reference the words found in The Gospel of Thomas:

        (114) Simon Peter said to them: Let Mariham [Mary] go out from among us, for women are not worthy of the life. Jesus said: Look, I will lead her that I may make her male, in order that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every woman who makes herself male will enter into the kingdom of heaven.

        In BTTHG, Jeanne De Salzmann’s solar system is referenced as “Salzmanino”, not “Salzmanina” perhaps referencing her likewise maturing in previously stated direction.

        Of course, she, like everyone including Mr. G himself does not get “left-off-the-hook” by Mr. G.

        Of course, not.

        Gregory

  8. Hi, thank you very much for your answers Will and Gregory.

    First, Will, yes I have such states on me, in fact I was thinking on that all day, and I did some intentional suffering today, I feel much better. I call it resistance, is common in FW language, and that makes me wonder how many of my manifestations have their origin in the abuse of sex, without know it!!, and what you expose in your text is just the Work’s exercises themselves to fight against “us”, maybe it is not mentioned to reach the higher in an innocent way, since is sex a delicate topic.

    But, I am tired to see lot of confusion and hidings or lack of clarity in this respect (sex) on groups. I think it is because of the misunderstanding that this respect can lead, culturally we have to clean all the wrong believes about it, but none knows how, I see it ends on more abuse. For example, I’ve seen people (men) that claim that men has to release sexual energy practicing sex as much as they can (I find this false), and proposing the same to women (in some FW groups). There is a complete silence in respect of women, the only thing I heard was that we can use it to create, so we can invest the energy making handicrafts, paintings, sewing, even parenting…. but nothing official (i.e. coming from books, just interpretations) I experienced once, ending a hard FW retreat, that I was feeling my libido mega high, and talking with other women they felt the same, uffa!! Nothing was said about. I think is supposed that people knows, or at least read about something related (in ISOTM for example), but is not always the case.

    Last year I expend a little time with nuns, and I have the opportunity to talk with them about that. They said that, first of all, they are women, so they have the naturally pulses of sex. They said that they practice sports, practice gardening, and similar activities, but they have strong inner work (they practice Saint Ignatius work, I found it similar to FW exercises too) and when is difficult to deal with sex, they pray, in a similar way you mentioned about Christ’s Blood. I found curious how some of them get fat or thin as is described on BT. The sitting has its part too, putting all in their right place, but for me, for example, is difficult when I am drowned, or numbed, the very same as you described

    I remember too, that it is said that this is different for every person, supposedly, some people has more difficulties to deal with sexual energy than others (I wonder if, quantitatively, everybody has the same sexual potential, in terms of energy production, probably not, it must depend on the quality of food acquired, I think, and you mentioned that Will) and if it is just the wrong use what make us lost. G said that everything is about sex, Nature is making its work, fulfilling its (selfish?) purpose. I am grateful with you sharing this.

    And Gregory, yes. I remember I did some research about women sexuality, and I was surprised with hysteria diagnostics, and masturbation as the recommended therapy, even the most incredible, it was created a machine to do that. For me, abuse of sex was understood as a fact for both males and females. I can say that release the strong current of that force, produces a temporary peace, an so, it is like everybody understands it, and found it normal, since they never connect that with the acquiring of superior bodies or subtle energies. And yes, we need to occupy our right place, but not as feminism proposes, acting like men on the world, but going through using our own feminine energy manifestation, this itself is a seek, a question for work, it is a pity we are getting lost. I understand males and females have both energies, and males have more male and females more female “charge”. And the present world, culture, had been masculine raised, out of equilibrium. All this is the “woman question” as a dear friend calls it, and Dostoevsky mentioned in some of their writings, and many others.

    But coming back to the discussion, yes, I think this is a very important ponder and post about this energy. Delicate because our civilization sickness and ignorance on this respect.

    I can see all that intensifications in me occurs cyclically, I started to try to see when during my cycle is happening, and it is like a clock. And when I try to Work intensively, the manifestations goes normal, my functioning is good and normal, but you always have to take a look on it. One of my principal questions is to try to identify when I am experiencing something “real” and when is just this misuse. I can see how my life goes on trash because of it. And try to see the associations of my I’s with it. I think I have a lot to say. But I will stop by here, because this became extense. 🙂

    I hope we can share more.
    Thank you.
    Sara.

    • willmesa says:

      Hi Sara,

      Reading over what you wrote I think you are ready to work along the following line of work:

      Questioner:
      [Asks about “injustices.”]
      Gurdjieff:
      You know “Justice” is a big word—it is a big thing in
      the world. Objective things are not small things like microbes, they
      go according to law, as the law has accustomed them to go. Remember;
      as you sow, so you shall reap. Not only people reap, but also
      families and nations. It often happens that that which happens on
      earth comes from something which was done by a father or a grandfather.
      The results converge on you, the son or grandson; it is you
      who have to regulate them. This is not an injustice, it is a very great
      honor for you; it will be a means which will allow to regulate the past
      of your father, grandfather, great-grandfather. If misfortunes come
      to you in your youth, it means that someone brought them—for this
      you must reap. He is dead, it is another on earth who reaps. You
      must not look at yourself egotistically. You are a link in the chain of
      your blood. Be proud of it, it is an honor to be this link. The more
      you are obliged to repair the past, the more you will have remorse of
      conscience. You will succeed in remembering all that which you have not done as you should in the past. Those things which you have done
      contrary to justice have mortified your grandfather. Thus you can
      have ten times more remorse of conscience and your worth will augment
      in proportion.
      You are not tail of a donkey. You have responsibilities, a family.
      All your family, past and future, depend on you. Your entire family
      depends on the way you repair the past. If you repair for everyone, it
      is good. If you do not repair for everyone, it is bad. You see your situation.
      Logically, do you see what justice is? Justice is not occupied
      with your little affairs, unredeemed pledges, it is occupied with big
      things. It is idiotic to believe God thinks of small things. It is the same
      with justice. Justice does not touch all that, and at the same time,
      nothing is done on earth without it. Search for the reasons. You are
      obliged to have a position of responsibility in the line of your blood;
      you must work more to repair the past. It is difficult to understand
      all at once.
      G. I. Gurdjieff Wartime Meetings, Meeting twenty

      Please, meditate on all this.

      Will

      • willmesa says:

        Here is what the shaman Dr. Somé has to say on all this:

        “Unless the relationship between the living and the dead is in balance, chaos ensues,” he says. “The Dagara believe that, if such an imbalance exists, it is the duty of the living to heal their ancestors. If these ancestors are not healed, their sick energy will haunt the souls and psyches of those who are responsible for helping them.” The rituals focus on healing the relationship with our ancestors, both specific issues of an individual ancestor and the larger cultural issues contained in our past. Dr. Somé has seen extraordinary healing occur at these rituals.”

    • willmesa says:

      Hi Sara,

      I was in the Gurdjieff Foundation for ten years and none ever spoke about the transmutation of the sexual substance. I had to find it by myself through working with “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering” according to my own individuality. I recommend you do the same thing. If you ask you shall receive answers and you will find your own way. That is my experience.

      Keep up your work.

      Will

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