In my previous two posts I have written about the sexual substance, my bipolarity, and Beelzebub’s Tales. In this post I elaborate on how I have used the material in the book in order to face my bipolarity and face the transmutation of the sexual substance, and how all this leads to the coating of the body Kesdjan. But first we need some theoretical background on how the sexual substance interferes with the work of the three lower centers or brains in man.
Man is a three-brained being. This statement is repeated in Beelzebub’s Tales hundreds of times. These three brains or centers are called in the book: the moving brain, the feeling brain, and the thinking brain. Each center or brain has a center of gravity in the organism. The center of gravity of the moving brain is the spine; the center of gravity of the feeling brain is the so-called solar plexus; the center of gravity of the thinking center is the head. The sexual center may be taken to be part of the moving center but it has been said that this center is independent of other centers and that it is faster and more pervasive than any of the other three centers or brains. One of the most abnormal behaviors in relation to the sexual function and always according to Mr. Gurdjieff, is what he called abuse or misuse of sex by our brains or centers. Here is something on that.
Each center possesses its own source of energy, generated by its own unique substances and can sufficiently guarantee normal brain functioning, including its participation in the process of exchange of substances, without the need of any additional energy supply. Therefore, only under very precise conditions, based on a deep understanding of man’s inner structural/functional organization can successful functioning of the brains be intensified through use of additional energy such as that generated by the sexual substance. Even in such case, the intensification would have to be harmoniously and proportionally distributed among the centers or brains. However, whenever highly vibratory energy is used inappropriately, the result is always an abnormal intensification of functioning. The obvious features of such abnormal intensification, (or sexual abuse), are the sterile vehemence and futility of purpose observed in whichever brains’ functioning or operation.
A normal functioning of the thinking-brain provides performance of the associative process of idea organization needed for generation of other ideas, as well as its participation in the more advanced forms of mental activity such as pondering and being-mentation. However, when the thinking-brain uses sexual energy to accomplish its own functioning, the result is always an abnormal intensification of the associative process. This abnormal intensification, then, results in the subjectivization and the crystallization of fixed ideas. In this way, the thinking-center engages itself in the formulation of any variety of subjective theories which lack correspondence to the reality dictated by everyday common sense; in endless discussions of theories of others; and/or in the merciless elaboration of any idea or theory. The unfortunate end result is that thinking-center functioning becomes useless for man’s successful utilization of it and its potential contribution to the process of life shared in common and its normal exchange of substances or common-cosmic process Iraniranumange, as it is called in the book.
The normal function of the feeling brain is that of channeling and distributing the ensemble of feelings and emotions needed to maintain the life of the individual, the normal process of life shared in common among men, and the normal exchange of cosmic substances in which the feeling-brain participates. However, when the feeling-center uses sexual energy to accomplish its own functioning, the result is always an abnormal intensification, characterized by a subjectivization and a crystallization of certain, very definite emotions. The feeling-center identifies itself in the variety of emotions whose common denominator is their degrees of violence as well as their highly charged negativity. This identification, then, manifests itself as fanaticism, of religious, ideological or doctrinaire character (the burning of witches, the final solution, the sacred war, and so on). Yet, another form of manifestation of such identification can be seen in the diversity of emotional dependencies associated with sexual activity (sadism, masochism, fetishism, jealousy, etc.).
Normal functioning of the moving-brain coordinates and regulates the voluntary and automatic movements required by the individual for physical actuation in the process of common shared existence, as well as the normal exchange of substances in which the moving-brain participates. However, when the moving-center uses sexual energy to accomplish or enhance its own functioning, the result is always an abnormal intensification, characterized by exaggeration. For example, the moving-center engages itself in a variety of sports as part of its normal activity and development; however, when its functioning is intensified by sexual abuse, it is compelled to break all established records (the ballerina strives to perform the impossible pass). The end result is that the moving-brain becomes useless to the normal life of the individual as well as the necessary exchange of substances.
Based on this understanding of how sex affects the normal functioning of other brains, I was able to relate my bipolarity (including psychosis) to the abuse or misuse of the sexual substance. I have been able to verify and clearly see what follows:
Depression is an intensification of the moving brain by misuse of the sexual substance in the form of negative emotions. In order to understand this we have to understand that emotions are a form of misplaced and distorted sensation, a sensation that its origin in the moving brain, very specifically in the center of gravity of this brain, namely, the spine. The movement of the misused sexual substance through the spine causes sensations which are transformed into negative emotions. This movements paralyzes the functioning of the moving center. Negative emotions then manifest in the form of irritability, self-pity, false self-love, sadness, loneliness, procrastination, hopelessness, impotency, inordinate movements, nervousness, and others the seeker must experience by himself.
Manic states are intensification of the thinking brain by misuse of the sexual substance. During the manic phase the thinking brain becomes overactive and man thinks highly of himself, the opposite of what happens during the phase of depression. Man no longer feels he is impotent, he is now in command but this command is only of the mind and does not involve the totality of oneself. It is then not true command but a dream of commanding. If during depression man feels his impotency, during the manic phase man thinks he can do all and everything. He is the master of the universe but in reality he is nothing more than a dream-master, thinking he can master anything but in reality being unable to do anything. In the manic phase man cannot do and everything happens to him.
Psychosis is an intensification of the feeling brain by misuse of the sexual substance mainly in the form of hallucinations. During a psychosis man feels that all and everything has a reality that is displaced from everyday reality. Feeling of negativity or feelings of aggrandizement are typical of a psychosis. Man may feel that he has committed the “unforgiveable sin” or that he is nothing more than Jesus Christ Himself. Man is not dreaming like during the manic phase but he is hallucinating. Man feels that he is condemned for ever or that he is here to save the world. Both forms of hallucination are characteristics of a psychosis but man cannot see that he is simply hallucinating. These hallucinations manifest in the form of very definitive feelings with the main characteristics of an over activity of the feeling center caused by the misuse of the sexual substance.
What is man, now the seeker, to do in all these cases? The only thing to do is to transmute the sexual substance. But how is this done? At this point the seeker can rely on the advice given in the chapter Holy Purgatory of Beelzebub’s Tales. Here is the appropriate quote from that chapter:
“So, my boy, this totality of cosmic substances named ‘exioëhary,’ resulting from the evolution of the first being-food in these beings apparatuses, corresponds in its vibrations to the last stopinder of the being- Heptaparaparshinokh and, according to the particularity of this stopinder, it enters the ‘higher intentionally actualizing mdnel-in’ of the law of Heptaparaparshinokh. And in order to complete its transformation into new higher substances and acquire vibrations corresponding to the next higher degree of vivifyingness, that is, corresponding to the fifth stopinder of the fundamental process of the sacred Heptaparaparshinokh, it indispensably requires just that outside help which can be obtained in the presence of three-brained beings only through those factors mentioned by me more than once, and which are manifested in ‘being-Partkdolgduty’, in other words, those factors which our COMMON FATHER CREATOR ENDLESSNESS consented to designate as the means by which certain tetartocosmoses—as a final result of their service to the purposes of the common-cosmic Iraniranumange— could become helpers in the administration of the enlarging world. And as for these factors, which are the sole possible means for the assimilation of the cosmic substances required for the coating and perfecting of the higher being-bodies, today we call them ‘conscious labor’ and ‘intentional suffering. “
It should be noted that the name ‘exioëhary,’ is identify in the book as the sperm in beings of the male sex:
“Here it might be worthwhile to note and even to emphasize that of all the definite cosmic substances that are formed and are always to be found in the common presence of your favorites, they know well only this ‘being-exioëhary,’ which they call ‘sperm,’ and even masterfully perform with it various kinds of their ‘manipulations.’
“And by this name ‘sperm’ they give importance to the totality of definite substances formed only in the presence of beings of the male sex, scorning and leaving nameless a similar totality of the ‘end results’ of the substances arising in beings of the female sex.”
What if the sexual substance or being-exioëhary is not transmuted through the proper means of being-Partkdolgduty? Well, Beelzebub’s Tales also addresses this matter as follows:
“Well then, ever since your favorites ceased to actualize being-Partkdolgduty in their presence, this totality of substances, which inevitably arises in the presence of all beings as the final result of the transformation of their first being-food, no longer receiving, in accordance with the sacred Heptaparaparshinokh, the outside help required for completing its evolution into other higher definite active elements, began to involve back toward those crystallizations from which its evolution began From then on, such involutionary processes in the common presence of your favorites became factors engendering in them data for the arising of their innumerable ‘illnesses,’ thus, on the one hand, breaking down their previously established essence-individuality and, on the other hand, shortening the general duration of their existence.”
It is obvious from everything said above that transmutation of substances known as being-exioëhary involves the practice of ‘being-Partkdolgduty’ or “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering.” But what are “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering” all about? Well, they are not well defined in the book, except to say that the best form of intentional suffering is to bear the unpleasant manifestations of others. Therefore, the seeker will have to figure out what “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering” means to him/her. I have come to some results on this matter and can only give you concrete examples on how I have used ‘being-Partkdolgduty’ in the transmutation of my sexual substance and the eradication of my bipolarity and psychosis.
The first thing I realized was that I had to find a way of tranquilizing this movement of the sexual substance up and down the spine which caused my depression. For that I did the usual tranquilizing exercises like the so-called morning sitting but more than that came an intensive awareness in the sense that I had to tranquilize my spine everywhere I was and not matter what I was doing. Breathing into the spine also helped and a verbal formula passed to me by a Catholic friend was of great help: “Blood of Jesus, help me and clean me,” which I did while visualizing the blood of Jesus moving up and down my spine. In any case, work on oneself ought to be carried in the midst of life because we do not live in a monastery (satseng is good for monasteries). This became for me an almost obsession. The end result of this transmutation of the sexual substance was an eradication of the negative emotions which caused my depression. The whole process, I must repeat, involved the use of “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering” as I understood them according to my own individuality.
For my manic phase, I worked intensively in transmuting the vehemence of my thinking brain using for this end the concentration and focusing of my thinking function. Instead of using medication, which as I was able to constate, was a form of self-calming, I worked consciously on a different use of the thinking function. Thinking became more solid and more involved in the normal use of the thinking function for everyday activities. As It was the case with the moving brain functioning, I employed my being-understanding of “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering.”
For the psychosis, I understood that I had to proceed in the direction of bringing more sense and understanding to the functioning of my feeling center. In this sense, I practiced a kind of exercise that had to do with bringing light to the heart, site of the normal functioning of the feeling brain. Feeling became like a tranquil sea and I was able to constate its participation in my own Law of Three in the form of a neutralizing force. In the same way that sex is the neutralizing force in the functioning of the moving brain, that is to say, the neutralizing force between the moving and instinctive functions, the feeling brain is the neutralizing force between the moving brain (holy denying) and the thinking brain (holy-affirming).
Besides the use of “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering” I made use of two very important aspects of the living teaching Mr. Gurdjieff brought to humanity, namely, consciousness and conscience. Through consciousness I became more aware of the functions of my three brains under intensification caused by misuse of the sexual substance. Conscience, on the other hand, served me as the guide or master of my inner work.
How could I be sure that a sexual transmutation was taking place in me? There is only one way to know it and it is by the results obtained. I became aware as my work progressed that there had been in me a distinguishable increase in my animal magnetism or as it is called in Beelzebub’s Tales sacred being-Hanbledzoin. Having this substance in one’s organism is very important because on one hand it is the substance connecting the thinking and feeling centers and, on the other hand, this substance is the blood of the body Kesdjan or Astral Body. With the coating of the body Kesdjan comes an increase in consciousness and a physical joy that is solid and natural. We can know the presence of the body Kesdjan only by its manifestations. Coating of the body Kesdjan is an important endeavor.
The end result of my work has been that my bipolarity together with my psychosis have ended and I am again living a normal life from the point of the functioning of my three brains. I have experienced an increase harmony among them with the result of an increase in Being.